How is a complainer different from a non complainer
Four Simple Words To Stop A Complainer
hey everybody so last week I was sitting
with a friend of mine and I was
complaining to him about something
another friend of mine had done I was
saying I can't believe he did that it's
not just annoying it's disrespectful how
could you do that and my friend meaning
well said well maybe he didn't really
mean that Jordan or Jordan I think you
might be a little too sensitive here or
well did you maybe think about it this
way maybe if you think about it this way
I'll change your mind and of course I
could feel what he was trying to do
because as a spiritual teacher and life
coach that's what I do for a living I'm
constantly helping people think
differently and look at things
differently but I found that when you're
sitting with somebody before you offer a
solution it helps to empathize which
means to feel along with somebody and
one thing that you can say four words
I'm sorry that sucks
four words
and it can stop a complainer dead in
their tracks what we really want to hear
from somebody else isn't necessarily the
solution it's I hear you I understand
how you're feeling I understand what
you're saying and so I found in my own
work that that is one of the most
incredible things that you can do with
somebody before you offer a solution so
my suggestion to you is over the coming
weeks stay open to people complaining to
you about things sit with them be with
them take a moment
a few deep breaths let's say five deep
breaths
after you say I'm sorry that sucks
and of course say it from your heart I'm
sorry you feel that way that really
stinks is it really an effective way of
making somebody feel as if you are
feeling along with them do you get what
I'm saying
if you're like me and you want to find
solutions quickly for people that's the
way my mind works
I often skip past that part so I thank
my friend the other night for mirroring
that back to me now I'm will be I am now
a person who's more likely to pause and
say I'm sorry that sucks and feel with
the other person for a moment so go over
to the batboat comm which is new to
redesign and leave a comment under the
article in which this video is featured
and let me know how does this change
your conversation so you type are you
the type of person who runs to find
solutions for people and is it okay for
you to sit in the space of just being a
listening a deep listener a deep
listener
here's to deep listening Cheers
