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Respectful Relationships - Community Voices - White Ribbon Day

respectful relationships means coming

from a position of understanding knowing

that people have differing opinions you

need to be able to respect difference

and not enforce your beliefs or opinions

on someone that might not necessarily

share those being thoughtful and being

mindful and and being non-judgmental I

think the most important thing with

respectful relationships is actually

reflecting on yourself and being an

ambassador for what you'd expect in

other people you've got to realize that

everybody else has got as many

difficulties in their lives as you have

and you've got to take that into

consideration it's how you should how

you should treat people rather than you

know some well I'll only treat people as

good as they treat me I think it's

actually more than that respect does not

come overnight respect to come through

train it is about trust

bottom line of interrelationships trust

anything is secondary Martin Luther King

once said we must learn to live together

as brothers or perish together as fool's

so if you really look into that or

analyze that what he's saying is that we

must learn to live together in order to

live together we must respect each other

respect starts in the home it's

important for parents to help foster

compassion and tenderness in their young

men it's important for fathers to

explain sexuality to their adolescent

kids many many vulgar attitudes towards

women start early I can't see how you

could live in their house without having

a respectful relationship what we learn

about respectful relationships starts at

home and comes from the relationships

you have with your own family my wife

and I are very strong individuals and we

both have our own ideas at times but

having that respect for each other

you know and understanding where they're

coming from even when if they disagree

with with what you're saying is as

important to office having a happy life

for me my wife it's always a lot of

custom and that's the beauty of it

because you learn about people and I'm

still learning with my wife and the case

say of my wife my respect for her needs

to be almost part of myself it needs to

be so personal so I really think that

when you've shared

something as I have with her for 45

years the respect is sort of it's almost

inbuilt

we treat each other how we would like to

be treated at home so I will treat my

husband like he's a king get he treats

me like I'm a queen you have someone

there that's going to complete you know

that someone there is going to be able

to help you every step of the way as you

get older and as you grow through life

together and raise children together

except for me the respect begins at home

and that's where it should be the

foundation if you like for me it's about

how I can best be to my wife and my

children and all those around me and

extended family members so that I can be

a supposed best in the sight of God you

know what they say you know happy wife

happy life but you know obviously when

my wife's right I have to be they wanted

to say okay dear I understand and you

where you create the net point and then

you know the few times when I am right

my wife's right as well so I just have

to accept that so as a mother meeting my

children in it for many years and

growing up and as teenagers meeting it

what they're at and guiding them but

respecting them at the same time

allowing them to have their space just

really important to remember that that

they're people at the same time and that

they're family as well and then you want

to you know put your point across but be

respectful at the same time because what

you do for yourself in a personal level

and your family unit that's what

embodies outside externally as well so

the family unit is the structure of the

community

regardless of religion cultural

background and hierarchy education

training that they take people as they

are and I think it's very important also

to have a process that if it doesn't

because you're doing something about it

you know whenever there is a situation

we tend to you know really focus inside

so what I try to do is take a step back

and see both sides and not only what

their opinions are but what shapes their

opinions it is quite important when a

difficult or conflict situation to try

to understand where that other party

comes from I don't like to think of it

as conflict I like to think of it as a

hidden solution that you both have to

work towards to find the answer to we

have an understanding that no matter

whether your father the son the wife the

husband you respect each other let

people have their say but people vent we

respect the relationship more than the

argument that we might be having and I

think that's a really really important

point that most people forget is that

our marriage is solid and the intruder

is the argument I think that honestly

honesty is the key to having a very

fruitful productive relationship allow

someone to be heard allow someone to be

who they want to be don't control them

don't impose your will on them because

you're all human and we're all entitled

to be treated with dignity and

self-respect because you know you're not

respected you don't feel valued and if

you don't feel valued then where is the

relationship you know we're all in this

world to make a connection with each

other and you know you can have money

power influence position none of that

makes any sense if you don't have a

relationship with people and you don't

have connections with people and you

need to have respect in order to have

effective connections and relationships

we often take liberties with our own

families that we wouldn't out in the

public space we you know we clear time

is better behaved outside than we are in

our own homes violence isn't just

hitting someone or striving in it than

bonds can also be screaming you

put-downs you know giving somebody

financially destitute keeping them

isolated so these are also things that

we need to be aware of as well

we all fail it from time to time we say

things that we later regret we do things

that we later think you know that wasn't

the best choice and that's

understandable because it's human but

there should be that capacity for

reflection in those cases to say I'm

going to try to be better than that

I don't want violence against women to

become normalized because it's so common

it can't be simply we just shrug our

shoulders about the best we can do is

not just about accepting but also

respecting our differences as a basis of

our common ground really just comes down

to giving people to respect that you'd

expect it's all about honesty and then

just going out of your way to help each

other we need to be fostering and

cultivating the qualities in people the

skills and people that allow them to be

positive members of a community being

prepared to come down or come up or

shift sideways whatever it takes

relate to different people in different

ways always assume that that people do

the right thing and never assume that

they will do the wrong thing basically

where their lenses for a couple of

minutes to see things from from their

end the important thing is to remember

that everybody's in it got dignity and

inherent to themselves and potential to

be more than what they are

respect cannot be demanded it actually

has to be earned that's the only way you

can actually have a mutual relationship

and resolve difficult situations

self-awareness openness honesty listenin

equality compassion empathy empathy

empathy integrity acceptance openness

impartial communication communication

understanding understanding

understanding understanding

understanding understanding listening

love wisdom patience acceptance trust

honor dignity decency appreciation

appreciation appreciation there you go

well I think respect I'm going to have a

respectful relationship in that I

respect what he does and he respects

what I do and he knows he can't make me

do things that I don't want to do and

vice versa just say a lot of senses with

the word respect and just then yep

because we have a respectful

relationship I'm not sure this is the

best idea

you