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12 Signs You're in a Healthy Relationship

[Music]

hey everyone and welcome to top bank

today we're going to learn about 12

signs of a healthy relationship now

let's begin number one zero reaction

anxiety do you ever hold something back

because you're worried about how your

partner is going to react in your normal

everyday life you spend so much time

monitoring your behavior you stop acting

like yourself and cater to the people

around you but your relationship should

be a safe space somewhere you can take

off your filter where you can express

anything you want to express without

being scared or embarrassed if you have

zero reaction anxiety it means you trust

your partner to embrace who you are in a

long-term relationship very few things

are more important than that number two

healthy disagreements no one expects you

to agree on everything

people often imagine healthy

relationships as this perfect utopia

where the two of you are in sync 24/7

you see eye-to-eye on every decision you

complete each other sentences your

visions of the future couldn't be more

similar but that's not what a healthy

and positive relationship really looks

like the truth is there will be

disagreements there will be times when

you argue times when you have trouble

understanding the other person's point

of view and hey that's okay

in fact it's healthy for partners to

butt heads every once in a while a

disagreement often means that you're

actively trying to find a compromise

that benefits the both of you you see

the happiest relationships aren't

dominated by a single partner one

person's opinions shouldn't completely

overshadow the others that really

defeats the purpose of being in a

relationship relationships should be

about sharing your life not finding

someone else's life to control this is a

trap that many young couples fall into

one person wants to keep their partner

happy so they pretend that their own

opinions aren't important but this is a

recipe for disaster

think you're doing your partner a favor

but they want you to express yourself

even if your opinions don't line up with

theirs just make sure that you're not

disagreeing all the time if you're

arguing constantly then there's probably

a deeper problem with the relationship

as a whole the same rule actually

applies to your friendships having a few

disagreements is healthy but too many

means your relationship might need some

work

number three division of space every

strong relationship should have two

things space and boundaries even though

the two of you like being together well

you need time to exist as individuals

without those limitations many people

start to feel suffocated they become

codependent on their partners because

they forget who they are

outside of the relationship creating

physical space is a great way to reclaim

that feeling of Independence when you're

separated from your partner you have the

freedom to focus on what you want to do

you might for example take that time to

reconnect with the other important

people in your life like friends and

family because a relationship no matter

how serious it is shouldn't consume your

individuality you should still have your

own interests your own ambitions and

your own social bonds the emotional

boundaries exist for the same reason in

a healthy relationship you need to

respect your partner's freedom to feel

and make choices on their own the two of

you might think alike but you shouldn't

act like you have one brain hey it's

okay for you to like one thing while

your partner likes another you should

make an effort to understand each

other's interests but boundaries are a

healthy way of maintaining your

individuality number four displacing

frustration do you feel like you have to

be right all the time do you fight your

partner on every little thing these are

both signs of an unhealthy relationship

now as much as you want to argue that

need to be right is much less important

than your partner's feelings both of you

should be willing to give in if it's in

the best interest of your relationship

now I'm not saying that you can't be

frustrated with your partner that's just

not possible even the most loving

relationships create their fair share of

negativity but the difference is that

people in healthy relationships learn

how to manage their frustration instead

of berating or yelling at their partner

they blow off steam by working

exercising or venting to their friends

most of the time this helps them realize

one of two things either that this is

something important they should calmly

talk to their partner about or that

being rights well it really isn't worth

it number 5 avoiding withdrawal one of

the most destructive moments in a

relationship is when one partner begins

to pull away they become emotionally

distant

they might not seem enthusiastic about

spending time with you this kind of

withdrawal can mean a few different

things so let's highlight the worst case

scenario when your partner is constantly

acting distant they may not be willing

to put in the effort anymore they're

choosing to step back and let things

fall apart now of course this

ambivalence doesn't just pop up out of

nowhere

persistent withdrawal usually stems from

feelings of neglect anger or irritation

no matter where it comes from withdrawal

is a huge red flag in a healthy

relationship each partner actively works

to close that distance they don't

withdraw into themselves they encourage

each other to be open and expressive so

if you notice your partner pulling away

give them a chance to tell you why

number six

conflict kindness no matter how heated

things get healthy couples are always

kind to one another they definitely get

angry and frustrated like everyone else

but they won't resort to insults or

personal attacks you'll never hear them

tear their partner down just to get

their point across one of the keys to a

healthy relationship is to show kindness

throughout conflict as strange as it

sounds you can argue with someone while

still making it clear that you care

about how they feel

number seven diverse experiences many

couples fall into the same trap they get

bored because they forget how to be

spontaneous it's easy in the early

stages of a relationship to do new and

exciting things together but over time

you'll settle into a comfortable routine

you'll visit the same places you'll

spend time with the same people it seems

like smooth sailing but this constancy

is unhealthy in the long run healthy

couples need spontaneity to keep their

relationship from getting stale

it's common for two people to break up

simply because they got tired of each

other

you might slowly but surely forget why

you fell for your partner in the first

place the excitement of a new experience

can remind you of why you're still with

them you can rediscover how much fun the

two of you have together and if your

relationship is starting to feel like

another part of your routine then those

moments are priceless

number eight consistent encouragement

you should always be able to rely on a

close friend or romantic partner for

support not just when you're doing

something they want you to do they

should encourage you anytime you found

something you care about because it

matters to you it should also matter to

them many partners try to mold their

significant other into the person they

want them to be they end up falling more

in love with the idea of someone than

the actual person healthy friendships

and couples don't try to control each

other's lives they know that their role

is to provide you with encouragement and

not to make your decisions for you

number nine open avenues if you want to

improve your relationship set aside time

to check in with your partner in one way

or another you should be regularly

asking them how they feel about the

relationship are they happy are their

needs being met is there anything you

can do better the goal is to establish a

time when you both can get things off

your chest that way neither of you has

to bottle up any negative emotions but

it's critical that you're receptive to

what their concerns are your partner

needs to

you'll like they can be genuine and

honest with you otherwise these open

avenues will create more conflict than

they'll resolve number 10

accepting past mistakes you can't

control your past and neither can your

partner that's why in a healthy

relationship you shouldn't hold your

partner's past mistakes against them as

frustrating as they are those mistakes

aren't going to disappear no matter how

guilty you make them feel the most your

partner can do is apologize and keep

history from repeating itself that means

they're depending on you to forgive and

forget by holding a grudge you're

telling them that they haven't earned

your trust if that really is the case

then you may need to reconsider your

entire relationship number 11

recognizing recurring conflicts the you

and your partner have the same fights

over and over again many unhealthy

couples will butt heads over one or two

issues for years when you fight about

anything long enough it drives a wedge

between you the subject creates so much

frustration and contempt that it becomes

almost impossible to view your partner

in a positive light

healthy couples know that fighting over

the same issues isn't productive so they

stop fighting and hone in on the real

root of the problem they figure out why

they can't get past this obstacle and

then come up with a compromise that

satisfies them both number 12

realistic expectations not every

relationship becomes a lifelong

commitment some couples have major

issues that just can't be resolved no

matter how good their communication is

you might want to live in different

places or maybe you live very distinct

lifestyles these differences might

trigger the end of your relationship but

you're not doing yourself any favors by

pretending that they just don't exist

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