This Trait makes a good wife - Jordan Peterson


you know and I've often thought that

I've been fortunate in my marriage

because you think well you got you get

married and you live happily ever after

it's like that's not it is it you don't

want that either you know what you

putting on it we want your partner to do

just all she's gonna do is sprinkle rose

petals in front of you right and pat you

on the back of the head and tell you how

wonderful you are

constantly day after day man you'd be so

sick of that after - well maybe take a

month but but let's say two weeks it'd

be you you'd be cuz you know she should

be more on the side of who you could be

then on the side of who you are and if

she's deluded enough or terrified enough

to worship you in your current form then

well that doesn't say much for her and

it certainly isn't very helpful for you

you want someone that's gonna get in the

way now and then you know and and to

contend with and I've been fortunate in

my marriage because I have someone to

contend with you know we we have our our

discussions and they're not easy

involved but partly because we have hard

problems to solve because life is full

of hard problems I want someone who

stand up you know and have her say even

if it's not what I would say and maybe

I'm even willing at times because she's

quite intuitive and a good dreamer and

I'm more facile verbally and so we have

to be careful in our relationship

because if I'm in a particularly ornery

mood and she has something to say I can

usually slice up her arguments verbally

you know and then that's that's fine as

far as I'm concerned because I get to

win but it's stupid well it's stupid

it's first of all that doesn't mean I'm

right it just means I can formulate

verbal arguments slightly faster than

she can but her intuitions and her

dreams are often extraordinarily

accurate and so we've learned to to some

degree to buttress each other's

arguments just on the office' off

that the person that you were foolish

enough to marriage marry might know

something you don't now and then about

something important you know and so what

do you want well you want someone to

contend with then it's an adventure you

know and then you have someone that you

love and that you respect and that's not

a bad combination for longevity of

relationship and then maybe if you have

someone that you love and respect and

that you can communicate with and your

children also love and respect her or

him and then that's pretty good for them

because they've got some parents that

they could love and respect that's a

good combination you know it solidifies

their life and so you want to contend

with them you want a job that's

challenging I would say that pushes you

beyond what you already are and god only

knows how much how hard you need to be

pushed in order to go beyond where you

are but you know to some degree if you

have a choice you know it's not that

uncommon that what we'll do is choose to

be pushed to the limit especially when

we're at our best we think well where's

the limit it's here maybe I can manage

that I'm gonna push myself right to the

damn limit then I'm gonna push myself a

little bit over just to see if it's

possible and and if that happens then

you know you emerge with a sense of

truck of triumph I'm now more than I was

right and maybe that's what you're here

to be is to be more than you were trying

to push those limits and to do that you

contend with the world you wrestle with


you don't casually say I believe because

who knows no one no one knows right

we're separated from the infinite by

death and ignorance we don't know we

contend we wrestle you know and in that

maybe we'd find our destiny at least we

find our purpose we find something

that's that that justifies us to some

degree you know if I'm awake at night

wondering and I thank God you know like

I've I pushed myself as far as I could

in this effort whatever the effort that

I'm considering happens to be I pushed

myself I don't have

a weight on my conscience because I let

something go or I failed to accomplish

some I mean I do often have those sorts

of weights I'm talking about the rare

times when I don't it's like well

there's something that that that's where

there's some atonement and some peace as

far as I'm concerned where that

contending and that wrestling has been

successful and I would say that insofar

as you're deeply involved in that like

completely involved in that thoroughly

involved in that then you have the right

to say that you believe in God