Four Simple Words To Stop A Complainer

hey everybody so last week I was sitting

with a friend of mine and I was

complaining to him about something

another friend of mine had done I was

saying I can't believe he did that it's

not just annoying it's disrespectful how

could you do that and my friend meaning

well said well maybe he didn't really

mean that Jordan or Jordan I think you

might be a little too sensitive here or

well did you maybe think about it this

way maybe if you think about it this way

I'll change your mind and of course I

could feel what he was trying to do

because as a spiritual teacher and life

coach that's what I do for a living I'm

constantly helping people think

differently and look at things

differently but I found that when you're

sitting with somebody before you offer a

solution it helps to empathize which

means to feel along with somebody and

one thing that you can say four words

I'm sorry that sucks

four words

and it can stop a complainer dead in

their tracks what we really want to hear

from somebody else isn't necessarily the

solution it's I hear you I understand

how you're feeling I understand what

you're saying and so I found in my own

work that that is one of the most

incredible things that you can do with

somebody before you offer a solution so

my suggestion to you is over the coming

weeks stay open to people complaining to

you about things sit with them be with

them take a moment

a few deep breaths let's say five deep


after you say I'm sorry that sucks

and of course say it from your heart I'm

sorry you feel that way that really

stinks is it really an effective way of

making somebody feel as if you are

feeling along with them do you get what

I'm saying

if you're like me and you want to find

solutions quickly for people that's the

way my mind works

I often skip past that part so I thank

my friend the other night for mirroring

that back to me now I'm will be I am now

a person who's more likely to pause and

say I'm sorry that sucks and feel with

the other person for a moment so go over

to the batboat comm which is new to

redesign and leave a comment under the

article in which this video is featured

and let me know how does this change

your conversation so you type are you

the type of person who runs to find

solutions for people and is it okay for

you to sit in the space of just being a

listening a deep listener a deep


here's to deep listening Cheers